I found my parents, now what? At the beginning of a parent search, the goal stares
directly at you...who is mom, or dad, or both? For those who have known the answer to
this, comprehension of not knowing is almost non existent. And for those that don’t,
increasing numbers taking DNA tests are filling in familial blanks that in times past,
would have been nearly impossible to solve.
In my case, finding Nancy was the immediate goal, officially starting in 1995. After
receiving official documentation regarding my birth in 2000, puzzle pieces and glimmers
of light began to appear. As a byproduct, extra pieces began to surface. Grandma,
grandpa, aunt, uncle, cousins..............bit by bit, unexpected information accompanied
the focus of my search. My familial vision was widening.
Meeting Margaret in 2001 adjusted the game. Not expected, but extremely necessary.
She and uncle Jim welcomed me into the emerging world of first family. My first family.
I continue to marvel at that first meeting – the best possible beginning.
The time between reuniting with Nancy and my first DNA autosomal test in 2013 gave
me the opportunity to focus on all things maternal. From my present perspective, the
intervening years provided a backdrop of opportunities to build relationships with many
members of Nancy’s family. I feel safe and loved. I’ve heard more than once – “Has it
been that long?” from the Blackstones. And yes, it has. Every moment cherished, never
Twelve years after my Blackstone reunion, my first DNA test results appeared on the
screen of my PC, ushering in my Celtic ethnicity.
The next year and a half was an entirely different type of reunion. This experience was a
process of confirmation. Confirmation based on science. Where finding Margaret
leading to Nancy took ten minutes after knocking on a door, Confirming Stuart as my
father was the last of a series - one after the other. Patience is the valued, golden
commodity needed to endure to the end of the journey.
Finding Nancy and ultimately Stuart, led to finding my own identity. Finding family is a
process of expanding vision, expanding vistas, expanding heart, expanding
understanding, expanding soul.
And the rest of the story? Family is a process of expanding – it is virtually endless.